AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH $@#@**&

Anyways, hubby went out this morning and bought me some PVC piping so I could construct a background to go with my lights and within one hour I threw all the pieces around the room, kicked my camera bag *gently for affect because the camera was in it* and yanked all the lights out of the plugs and told Peat to take it all apart, put it in the Jeep so I could return it all after Luke wakes from his nap.

Then I told him I'm listing my camera and lenses on Ebay. And I meant it!

First of all, I've barely used my sigma flash. I did use it last year but can't remember what mode I was shooting in. Obviously it was the easy mode and it did everything for me. Either that or I was extremely lucky and it just seemed to work. Anyways, now I'm just using manual so trying to find an acceptable SS and keeping my ISO down was HORRIBLE not to mention I have no idea what I'm doing with light.

I'm a helpless fraud.

No one in their right mind would ever let me take pictures of their family. NO ONE

I thought I did an ok job on outdoor pictures but bring me inside and I'm a complete moron. I think the kicker for me was putting my flash on and thinking, "um, why are all my pictures still dark?" Once I replaced the batteries and then the flash fired I thought it was all in the bag from there. Well, boy was I wrong. The battery issue was only half the problem. The other half was ME. I was bouncing it off the ceiling. I HATE reading manuals but I'm going to have to. I feel like I'm practically starting all over again now. That helpless state of STUPIDITY.

Anyways, as of right now I'm never picking up a camera again. In an hour I'll start looking around the Internet. The best thing I could do for myself is just go out and buy the things I need, set them all up and then learn. But because I'm trying to "half ass" things, I'm getting more frustrated than anything else. I think half assing things should be reserved for people who have a clue. And I clearly do not.

Hear that friends? Stop reading this blog because my JOURNEY is nothing more than a minor little trip. A TRIP I SAY. I can't believe a camera has me this flustered. Going for the Tylenol *again*.

...
......
........

I'm so torn. I don't want to put it all away. I don't want to quit. I want to keep doing this. I just need to find a better way of learning. Dare I say ... I might actually have to pick up a manual. Read it. Learn it. Absorb it.
Going to see if I can find any information about this stuff.
Frikken Photography!!