I was so excited when my oldest son turned four and as I reflected over the four prior years I realized how truly lucky *because it only has to do with luck* I was. Justin had never 'really' had a temper tantrum.
I knew I was lucky at the time because I had a lot of friends who had kids and I'd seen one play out and each night at bedtime, I thanked my lucky stars that Justin just wasn't the type to pitch a fit.
He's going to be seven in March and I can still say he's been a relatively easy child, where behavior is concerned. Or in the words of my three year old....Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.
Sure...whatever.
Let me tell you about my morning.
I thought *wrongly* that with Justin in school today I could do something different with Luke. Typically we just hang out around the house or run some errands. But today I wanted to take him to the gym to run/walk the track.
He's gone before with his dad and they've had a wonderful time.
We bundled up, packed our shoes and water bottles and off we went.
FIVE MINUTES is all it took.
1-2-3-4-5
Nothing more, nothing less.
Five.
See, if Luke were the type to sit and listen to what I had to say when things went south, we'd be ok. I'd tell him what he did wrong, ask him how he should correct it, and away we'd go. BUT NO. He cut someone off on the track because he tried to run away from my mother and then refused to listen when pulled off the track. All he had to do was stop, walk to the side, listen for two minutes about why we need to keep our eyes open for others and how to stay in his own lane but instead......I'm dealing with Luke.
A non-typical boy, or perhaps it IS typical. I wouldn't really know since my FIRST experience, with Justin would have been wayyyy different.
So while asked to walk away from the track to have a few words he started raising his voice, crying and protesting. Mortified....I attempted to pick him up and remove him from the track area. Limp body later, we're at the side of the gym trying to have a conversation. Then the tears, then the loud voice, then the humiliation ....then I checked out.
Hoisted him up, flailing limbs and all and carried him out to the change room. Where he proceeded to yell, scream and punch the lockers. Its amazing what calm can take over when needed. I've never fancied myself a patient or calm individual but when dealing with a child like Luke....there is no other way. Or someone would surely get hurt. And I'm bigger so if you wanted to place bets.....
Luke did not want to come calmly. Nor did he feel the need to put his coat on, his hat on or anything else one would consider important in Eastern Ontario in these temperatures. Just not a big thing for him. I figured "GOOD, freeze your ass off". In an attempt to make him walk he just dropped to the ground at the front door of the gym and I dragged him with a smile on my face. Once I adjusted my bags, I did pick him up and take him to the car.
So our fun day at the gym turned into the worst 10-15 minutes I've had with him in a long time and I will never take him back again. I don't think he thought we were really leaving because when he realized I started the car he started crying again.
I learned a few things in the car on that ride home. I learned that he hated me, I learned that I was stupid. I learned that he likes everyone else better than me. I learned that I have the patience of a Saint when I needed to.
I said nothing.
Not one word to that little boy sobbing and yelling and kicking in the backseat of the car.
I considered slamming on my breaks to make him jolt forward when he tried taking his seat belt off but I didn't. Seemed inappropriate at the time although its probably the thought I had playing in my mind to help me keep my calm.
Must have worked. We made it home.
Luke knows what he did, he's horrified that I am angry with him. Its the quietest morning in my house I've ever had. He's lost his tv privileges today, his Nintendo DS is gone today as are all the toys that had made their way back to his bedroom from his LAST outburst.
He had been placed in his room while I had a cool down for about half an hour. Not sure what he did in there but he certainly didn't come out to face me :) Just as well.
I'm not angry any more. Just sad that something that should have been fun has ended up like this.
But this is Luke. This is how he is when he doesn't get his way. I'm glad I caught him off guard by coming home. I'm glad he's being ultra kind, sweet and tiptoeing around me. He should.
But Dear God, please tell me it gets better with kids like Luke!
Sigh....
Thanks for listening. It was very therapeutic
