Friday, October 17, 2008

I'm a compulsive poster today: "THESE EYES"


These eyes belong to my oldest son Justin.

They're the most beautiful shade of brown. I have brown eyes. I've always hated my brown eyes. Thought they were just 'blah'. Yet when I look into these brown eyes, I just feel so drawn in. I feel compelled to stare at him.

Would you believe that this boy, my precious little boy who is a whoppin' five years old, refuses to kiss me anymore in public? Actually he doesn't like to kiss me in private either. Today I asked him to lay some shugga on his momma and he looked at me like i had five eyes. He claimed he was too old to kiss his mom. He said that when kids kiss their moms at school, he hears other kids laughing at them so he doesn't want to be laughed at.

Why do other children get in the way of what is rightfully mine! Anyways...I will let it go for his sake and just be grateful that I have a two year old who thinks I'm the cats meow.

Justin is such an innocent little boy. He's the most gentle, kind, sweet and considerate five year old I've ever met. Sometimes I worry that he is TOO considerate or TOO kind. Maybe he needs to worry less. Maybe he needs to be a kid MORE and not be so afraid to make mistakes. Apparently we've put a lot of pressure on Justin to be the very best he can be. Don't most parents?

I was speaking with his teacher the other day *wonderful woman* and she told me that Justin is the kind of boy who doesn't like to start a task unless he's asked every question he can think of about the task at hand. He is so worried about failing or making a mistake that he over analyses things. He will not just jump right in unless he has a clear understanding of what he's suppose to do. He is petrified of failure. I don't understand where this comes from. Do we as parents put this unrealistic pressure on our children to succeed? I want my son to make mistakes, learn from them and proceed *with optimistic caution...lol* I've never scolded him for mistakes, yet I see it in him even here at home. If he spills a drink, his reaction is to tense up and look at me with the same wide eyes you see above. Then he'll say "sorry sorry I'm sorry mom". Its when he has reactions like that, that I have to just stop, look at him and say "It was a mistake sweetie, here I'll help you clean it up". What causes a child to feel such anxiety? He isn't like that all the time. There are also times he'll spill something and then look at me with fury in those big brown eyes and yell "look what you made me do". He's SO Dr. Jekyll/Mr Hyde.

He's my sweet baby. I just wish he wasn't so afraid to do things wrong. I sat him down today and explained to him how fun mistakes can be. He thought I was crazy. I told him that the only real way to learn things was to make mistakes. Try things out. See what works and what doesn't. He looked like he was paying attention but then I was probably just mesmerized by his stunning brown eyes.

I think I'm failing this parenting thing.

Wriggs

No comments: